that when I'm at school, guys pay no attention.
Outside of school, people tell me I should put a portfolio together, and consider modeling. Good-looking Older guys (like 18-24) hit on me and flirt or check me out. I've had guys stick their heads out the car window and whistle/make comments. But in school guys pay no attention to me really, I'm always 'just a friend'. I'm pretty down to earth, and have a ton of guy friends...but that's all they are... And then w/ guys I don't know, IN school, don't seem to even notice me!?!?!
Do I just have to wait it out? I just don't know what the deal is?
ok so my dream was long but just try to follow! okay first it all started when we drove to florida in my dream when we got their it didn't look like florida to me! the beach was all private and dark but their were waves, the water was grey it looked like a lake, next i was sitting on my deck and looking out at the water i yelled to my mom and said the water is rising! its coming closer and all of a sudden we started freaking out a tsunami came we all ran and next thing i know we were in a parking lot trying to get home, then the Tsunami was gone and we were on the beach again and i saw a waterfall their all done!
I can say I'm not really jealous at all when it comes to other people. If I see someone with gorgeous jewelry or clothes or hair. I will admire that or compliment them, because I know how much better a compliment can raise self-esteem or confidence without me knowing it. If I think a girl is just flat out beautiful ,I may just look at her sometimes (no lesbo) and think she is nice looking. If someone is a A+ student I will just think they are very smart and think that it's very great indeed. I see my friends with a car and I want a car, but I'm not jealous I'm happy for them ,but It makes me more eager, I just can't wait till I get my first car. I was jealous a few times of my brother ,but probably because I'm a first born and usually he does get more attention and stuff.
This is the only fear that I have and it is very strong,it influences my nervous system and it is blocking my normal behaviour and thinking.I become TRASH! They can even fire me from work as i simply cannot think for work I can think only for my fear and how to overcome that.And it is not like unreasonable fear! It is not imaginary! I have strong reasons to have that fear!!! I am a good person not that i deserve that...it is just the country I live in....a lot of agression is here on the streets, just by any person, u just look at somebody and they might beat u up for nothing, a lot lot of agression provoked by misery and stupidity....I had a girlfriend before and a guy raped her so I couldn't do anything despite I knew where the guy was, here in my country the police are one with the mafia so there is no law, so please tell me is the only option for me to go ABROAD? I fear of getting a girlfriend because they might beat me up on the street for just trying to protect her? I can even get killed....damn it...
Okay so i had a dream that I joined a club in school, in this club we went to different places and did rlly cool things but i dont know wat the name of this club was called. So we went to this rlly cool place, it was like the amazon forest but the ground was covered with clouds. In the amazon forest place Me and the other ppl in the club went on a roller coaster made out of plants and flowers. While riding the roller coaster i fell off it and i died, but i turned into a ghost. I was like dead but i was still alive, i dont know it was confusing. the rules of the club was that if u died u were still able to go places with club but u werent aloud to do anything cool and u werent allowed to talk to anybody at all. A teacher told me that i would only be dead for 10 months and then i would go back to life. Then we went to the Cretan club (a greek dance group place that i'm part of) and there was a dog there and it tried to kill me even tho i was a ghost, i kept getting rlly scared and i kept running super fast away from it. Then the dog turned into a hot guy and he started to wrestle with me and then i started making out with him...it was exteremely random. so i just want to know wat all this means. nothing in my real life has to do with any of this. except for the part where we went to the cretan club because we had a dance there last night.