Jokes & Riddles

i just did my....?

Asked By: Anonymous
math hw and couldnt find a stapler so i glued all 3 pages in the corner together. ive been doing that for 3 days now. she doesnt even say anything and i get full creddit.
9 Answer(s) · 14 years ago

A webshow!!??

Asked By: Anonymous
People I really need your help so much. I have a webshow that is coming out on christmas day and I really would like everyone to watch it. We do a joke of the day and we choose a random joke that ppl have sent in, so far I have ten jokes. We would really like some more! It's not exactly a website, but it is going to do.. www.lilyanna411.blinkz.com To e-mail me, the address is lilyandanna411@yahoo.com Thanks if you really and truly are going to watch it!
2 Answer(s) · 14 years ago

Obama joke.....Barack Obama is at the Pearly Gates and is asked what he did in life to justify his place in?

Asked By: Hurts so good
heaven "I was the first black president" "Wow thats good" say St Peter, "When did that happen" "About 57 seconds ago"
3 Answer(s) · 13 years ago

What Does The New Bride Of A Russian Man Get On Her Wedding NIght?

Asked By: Anonymous
that is loooong and haaaaard... a new last name!!!!! HAHAHA
6 Answer(s) · 14 years ago

joke for friends?

Asked By: Anonymous
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude." "You must be an engineer!" says the balloonist. "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is, I am still lost." The man below says, "You must be a manager!" "I am replies the balloonist, but how did you know?" "Well," says the engineer, "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow, my fault."
10 Answer(s) · 15 years ago

The nursing home police?

Asked By: Anonymous
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding." "Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the center line back there." "Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh no-not the Breathalyzer again!"
10 Answer(s) · 14 years ago

Boyfriends and Girlfriends (Please Star if U like Any of The JokE)?

Asked By: Mickey
Girl:If we get engaged will you give me a ring? Boy:Sure,whats your number? Boy:May I hold your hand? Girl:No thanks, it isn't heavy. Girl:Say you love me! Say you love me! Boy:You love me Girl:I think the poorest people are the happiest. Boy:Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple. Girl:Darling,I want to dance like this forever. Boy:Don't you ever want to improved? Boy:I love you so much I could die for you Girl:Really! How soon? Boy:You remind me of the sea. Girl:Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? Boy:No, because you make me sick. Mary:John say I'm pretty, Andy say I'm ugly, what do you think Peter Peter:a bit of both, I think you are pretty ugly.
10 Answer(s) · 15 years ago

Riddles for you?

Asked By: Big Boss the Philosopher
1. One night, a king and a queen sail to an island, NO ONE KNOWS about the island except them. When they come back[from the island] there are 3 people with them, how is this possible? ( IMPORTANT NOTE: The queen WAS NOT pregnant) I'll admit, this one is kinda hard, so HINT: look closely at the first sentence 2. A woman shoots her husband, holds him underwater for 5 minutes, and hangs him. But 5 minutes later, they enjoy a wonderful dinner together, what happened?
10 Answer(s) · 14 years ago

Can you guess the two word rhymes to each clue?

Asked By: I am Sunshine
What is the common denominator with these words? 1. carton / they keep your tootsies warm 2. rich and sumptuous / vehicle used for moving 3. accent or emphasis on syllables / furniture used for storing
4 Answer(s) · 13 years ago

Pregnancy Q & A?

Asked By: rdrnnr1972
Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
3 Answer(s) · 15 years ago