16 years ago
lilbit6996

My husband looks at online porn...?

My husband looks at online porn..I don't have a problem that I have talked to him ..well actually we got into a fight about it last year when I was pregnant and I have concluded that he is going to do it anyway. The problem I have is that he tries to hide it from me. As in getting up for work earlier, or if I come into the room he closes the page..or when he works nights he will wait until I leave in the day and look at it. Our sex life isn't all that great. I just don't know what to do or say to make him understand how I feel about it.
Top 10 Answers
16 years ago
jessy
Favorite Answer
Well its not new in this age of the net! My husband gets up at 2 am and is on the net till time to shower for wrk at 5.every single night,and weekends too .I figure he s on the net more than with me.Oh and changing the screen have you tried to get as fast as they are it amazing I cant do it tht quick! Here it is in anutshell! He will not stop the porn on the net in fact they will leave you before givingup the porn net.He can have all the net he wants w/o you and in peace And thts exactly what hed do! So you make a choice ?I decided to stay with him and laid out ground rules he has to follow or its considered infedelity to me.No chatting to other girls,open the door in the office if I get up at night to go to the restroom,ect.so now he jumps to open the door and act social when Im awake.So hope tht helps cause you wont win they get addicted very fast no cure for it!good luck
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6 years ago
Anonymous
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5 years ago
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16 years ago
Carrie S
Your husband might actually have an addiction to porn, especially since he's still trying to hide it from you after you confronted him about it, and your sex life isn't great. There are a lot of reasons men look at porn. It might be that he just hasn't broken the habit from when he was single. It could be that he wants that perfect woman he sees in the picture, and he knows that you're imperfect in some ways. It could be that he's tired of dealing with all the emotions that come with sex and intimacy, and just wants to have the physical experience. With kids, and the fact that you fight, and just all of that, sometimes it's easier to duck out of real life for a while. Maybe he thinks that you're not interested in spicing it up and improving your sex life, so he just looks at porn to excite himself. All of those are things you two need to talk through. Sitting down, when the kids aren't around and won't interrupt you or overhear you, is a must. You can't accuse him, but you need to tell him how you're feeling, that you don't like it that he's trying to keep secrets. Tell him that you want to change things so that he doesn't rely on porn for sexual satisfaction, but on you, and that you're okay that he looks at porn, but you'd also like some of that attention for yourself. Let him know that you're willing to do whatever he wants. And listen for what he has to say! Hopefully, he'll open up to you.
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16 years ago
runner45
He has to respect you, and your input. I hope you can understand that internet porn is an addiction for alot of men; and most of the time it's not about their wives. It's not your problem; it's his. If you sex life is suffering, part of what may help you to understand; is that good marital sex, is not just sex; it's another form of communication in the marriage. Good communication is the key. If he is into online chat rooms; you need to stop that right now. You might try loading Specter software on your computer. It's a software that is totally hidden, and it records every key stroke, every website and conversation ever done, and you'll be the only one to know it's there if you don't tell your husband.
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16 years ago
Amazon
Let's be honest here if we want to be helpful. Guys brain work different. Guys are visual when it comes to sex. There are chemical that drives men. Forgive my language but cut his testicles for example, lol, and your husband won't want to mess with any female until he dies. So it IS chemical first. But it's also deals with control of sexual pulsations. I know a man looking at his wife naked and dancing on a screen is going to feel different than when he looks at her face to face naked. It just works like that. It is wrong, hurtful, bad etc, but that's the way it just works. The only thing I can advise you to do is to work on your initial problem. You said your sex life isn't all that. Find out what it is that you are doing wrong. Buy some books, get wild, fun and bad and give him more sex than he can handle. He won't need to look at porn anymore, believe it. I have read some other post but I do believe everything else that would be drastic is doomed to fail because you are going against thousand years of evolution, chemicals (hormones), and lack of control. That's a lot
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16 years ago
qtee
You SHOULD have a problem with it. A big problem with him looking at porn. By not having a problem with it, your saying that you agree that your not enough for him and he may use you as a hole in the wall when a pic of another girl has got him hard. Why don't you have a problem with this. Tell him to stop or he can find a way to be married to his porn because you need a real man.
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16 years ago
?
This is when porn is a problem, 1 he rather do that then make love to you .Be truthful with him about how it makes you feel.You have every right to your feelings and you have every right to talk about them.I think he tryes to hide it cause he is imberresed about it,thats one thing a man has a hard time being open about.and that he knowes how it makes you feel.maybe you should talk to him about your sex life,see what is wrong and how you can make it better for the both of you.Dont even talk about sex just do it.Im not saying this will stop him from lookinga t porn,but maybe less often.He doesnt love her like he loves you or lust over her like he does you,he just getting a cheap thrill for his release.Some men dont always want to bother there wifes with sex.If he has a high sex drive this could also cause it instead of bothering you.Just ask him why does he try to hide it,dont yell just talk.Tell him how it makes you feel and see if you both can come to turms about it.And hun think better of yourself,love yourself,if he was watching it cause he wants her in his mind then you are better off with out him.Find a man who finds you hot and wants to watch you,but if its just cause he dont always want to bother you,then try putting more into it
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16 years ago
caring_kindhonest
I speak from experience, in my previous marriage, my ex wife was pregnant. She also had a very very short hair style i didn't like. i was looking at porn every night while she laid in bed naked. i am not sure what got over me at the time. Now I know, I was young and horny, I didn't like her hair cut she looked like a boy.. I have since then dated a pregnant lady, the sex was aw some... i think pregnant women are sexy as hellll... So to answer the question, i think your hubby looks because he is unhappy with you in some sexual way, or he is in his mid life Crissie's. He may also enjoy some role playing with you.. try putting on a wig of a different color to intise him back to you, do something spontaneous, be freaky, guys love that in moderation.. Freaky doesn't mean slutty OK. Good luck with it... Hang in there, he will see what he has and come around...God bless
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16 years ago
imhogwilde
it seems to me if he was hiding it, he didn't want to hurt your feelings and he knows how you feel about porn after your fight. My husband also spends hours looking at porn online and he hid the fact he signed up to get on some sites....until I confronted him, now when he's getting over zealous about personals sites or adult sites I get on my laptop right near him and look at adult sex sites and go into adult chat rooms and he can clearly see the laptop screen ! He started to get a lil miffed and jealous that I, his wife was chatting with and looking at men on the same sites I disagree with him chatting on any site even porn, but I am against him deverting away from our relationship and not giving me the same attention he's giving a total stranger in a chat room! How can anyone know your true feelings about any subject if you do not express your opinion and feelings to them....we cannot read their minds and vice-versa....Not communicating to your man your true emotinal state about his actions is just as wrong in a relationship as him going out of his way to satisfy his sexual urges...COMMUNICATION is key to any lasting and respectful marriage...and you and your hubbie need to spend more time together intimately and rekindle that passion you once felt into
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