15 years ago
Faye

What to do about Our mothers?!!?

So, I have been dating this girl pretty much all Summer. I'm a 16 year old female and she is 15. It's complicated because I have been a known lesbian for quite sometime, and she is supposed to be a known straight girl who has no experiance in the dating world what so ever. My girlfriend's name is Lisa. I have given her her first kiss, first relationship...first everything. And she's supposed to be straight! but, the fact is we have kept the relationship secret. Until recently. Our mothers have been talking and found out some how. Lisa's mom is VERY much into everyone's business. It's almost unbelieveable. Since our mothers have found out, they have been trying to pull us apart like no other!Lisa and I have been doing nothing but crying everyday! telling us we don't know anything about what we are doing. They are telling us we are abnormal, tearing breaking our hearts. We just don't know what to do. And Lisa isn't aloud to see me until she answers stupid "questions" that are VERY difficult to answer. They say Lisa is just confused and doesn't know what she's doing or what the difference between liking someone as a friend or more. It's all Bullshit! We are sick of crying, it's like the modern day Lesbian Version of Romeo & Juliet! No Joke! I can't take it anymore! Why do they want? And why do they want it? Every Teen is going to go through different experiences in life, So why can't we just be accepted?! I swear...It makes me so upset, I just about want to Die! Me and Lisa aren't breaking Up. We just want to be together....What do we do about our mothers?! I don't know what to do....
Top 4 Answers
15 years ago
forget_you_stfu
Favorite Answer
sweetheart, there's nothing you can do. tell your mother that a parent should have nothing but unconditional love for their child and should want you happy. her religion and her dreams for you (marriage & children, etc) is being compromised. Yes. You can have marriage. Yes. As a lesbian, you can have a child. But she feels threatened by this lifestyle you have. But you have dreams as well, and you can't help being who you are. Yes, you have come into your own at a very young age. (I'm 19 and my sexuality is still confusing to me.) I commend you on knowing who you are...and not changing yourself to fit someone else's need (your mom). You're living with her and right now...you'll have to follow her wishes. There's still email, texting, calling, school - - that time to see each other. Now onto her being "straight". There's a lot of grey area for sexuality. She may be gay...she may be bi...she may just be attracted to "you" in general. I think she needs more life experience before putting a name on herself.
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15 years ago
Lon E
as a parent, i can understand the mom's being upset at the prospect of their child becoming a sexual creature. While it is all part of growing up, it is a tough part for parents to deal with sometime. You should also remember that this news or revelation probably put your moms back on their heels a good bit. The first thing you both should do is stay calm!!!! I know thats not easy to do as a teenager - he!!, it ain't easy to do as an adult sometimes either! Maybe you should try to sit down and explain to your mom how you feel and how much pain this is causing YOU. You can't expect her to be like all "oh sweetie, you are right, please, run to her now and take her to bed immediately" That is TOTALLY unrealistic. If you can force yourself to sit down calmly with your mom, and discuss this in an adult manner, without getting all pi$$ed, and emotional, it will help i am betting. You may also want to turn your mom onto the PFLAG web site to help HER to understand what you are going through. If you can make headway with your mom, then you can work towards educating Lisa's mom. You still CAN'T expect them to endorse and be happy or supportive at the prospect of the two of you developing a sexual relationship at your age. It probably is no big deal, but as a parent, they are gonna be uptight about that. Its what parents do. Please understand that I am not taking up for your parents on this deal. I am just trying to give you some insight into their thought processes some. Seek first to understand, and THEN to be understood. Now, the comment you made, "I just about want to die" is totally unacceptable and very scary. If you truly feel that way, then you need to talk to a counselor immediately. You MUST remember dear, whatever this problem entails, it is a TEMPORARY problem. IT WILL PASS EVENTUALLY!!!! To die is a permanent solution to what is only a temporary problem, and therefore is no solution at all. This could take some time to resolve. Be patient, be strong, be courteous and respectful, and be mature. Best of luck to you and Lisa dear.
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6 years ago
Erika
Everytime I examine this, I basically sense so satisfied interior... And Mashallah, i'm happy to be certain this stunning 'chain reaction' occurring - passing on alluring messages, & the fact approximately Islam, is what we could desire to continually do. in straight forward terms that way will human beings learn on the subject of the astounding thing on the subject of the fact (Islam). Salam alaykum~
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15 years ago
Anonymous
I don't think your experiences are different than that of any other gay person. When you are 18 do what you want. PS: No parents can deal with kids becoming sexual - ever!
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