13 years ago
Jenny

Friendship worth keeping?

I've known this girl for 5-6 years, and we've become really good friends/roommates; but lately, i've come to question our friendship. I feel as though it's one-sided. In terms of how much thought i put into gift ideas (she gets me nothing for my bday claiming that it's a late gift), how much money i spend on lunch/dinners (since she never brings her wallet), how much more i care about her problems than even my own. Whenever she has a problem, i'm there, but when i have a problem, she backs off, claiming that she can't handle my problems and hers at the same time; which is understandable ... i guess... but then again.. why can i handle my own problems and hers? you know? I feel used. Especially since we just had an argument, (granted it was my fault and i appoligize..) but.. when i invited her out to go shopping w/ me, she declined but as soon as she needed a favor, she was nice, and when i asked if she wanted to talk about our argument, she said no and wanted space. Is it worth saving?
Top 7 Answers
13 years ago
Ephemera
Favorite Answer
she might be slightly using you, but that doesn't mean you should completely dump her and never talk to her again. you can still be friends, but maybe you should stay away from the times when she would have a chance to use you (for example, don't take her out to dinner if you know that she'll definitely make you pay). you can still be friendly with her, but definitely don't trust her with your emotions and don't expect her to be there for you when you need her--and, in return, you don't need to try too hard or go out of your way to help her, either. there are many "better" friends out there, and they'll be the ones worth going to when you have a big emotional problem. so go out and meet new people, and don't give this girl opportunity to use you, but don't sever your friendship either.
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13 years ago
hermit
I had exsc same prob. I knew a girl for 10 years, she was my best friend. It's the same- if her probs are more important than yours dump her; she's not worth your time. Trust me. When I got rid of my friend I was worried I'd done the wrong thing but it was the best thing I've ever done. My only regret now was that I left it so late to break free. However, trying telling her how you feel; if your not satisfied with her ans/reaction then you know its over.
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13 years ago
firefly
Right you are her friend not her mother. Back off from her for awhile and see what happens. If she contacts you tell her you had your own problems to deal with. Seems like she's using you and not taking your feelings into consideration. She's being nice to you when she needs something, that is not a true friend.
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13 years ago
curious connie
If you really care for this person keep the friendship alive, but not so close. Don't see her as often, don't confide in her. Keep it light. She sounds rather immature. Maybe she just needs to grow up a bit more.
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13 years ago
xgoodnightxandxgoodbye
If you really want to keep her as a friend. Sit her down and say thsi is seriosuly breakign us apart. Say im here for you and when i need you you dont care and blahh and list your problems. and if you seriously dont really care. just give up. Good luck and Best wishes! Merry Christmas!
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13 years ago
Anonymous
Yeah? I guess you should save it!
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13 years ago
jelly_press65
no obviously she doesn't care about your relationship then neither should you.
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