13 years ago
Feel What I Feel

A Poem About Love. Is It Good Or Bad?

Since The World Began We Were Created In Pairs A Woman And A Man So That Everything Is Fair Everyone Loved Someone For The Many Years That Came Love Was Always In The Air It's Fire Cannot Be Tamed. There Was Two Of Us But Where Were You You Never Even Considered Seeing My Love Through. You Had My Heart And You Didn't Even Know. Anything I'd Do For My Love To Show. You Love Someone Else, I Was Never A Part Of You, So Many Times I've Tried, But The Results Are Nothing New. How Could A Person, Live With The Pain? The Pain Of Loving, When You're Love Is In Vain. So? On A Scale Of 1-10, How Good/Bad Is It?
Top 4 Answers
13 years ago
Confused
Favorite Answer
I think it's great. The almost proverbial opening 'we were created in pairs' leaves a memorable idea in the mind of the reader but one you have to work hard to sustain throughout the poem. The rhythm is ideal and it is very structured, almost too structured. In some places you might even be constrained by this, however, I think in this case it adds to the form of the poem. I've made a couple of changes mainly in phrasing but also removing unnecessary capital letters which can make the poem tedious to read (not to be nitpicky). It's your poem though, and you're the judge of what's best for it. Good luck. Since the world began we were created in pairs a woman and a man so that everything was fair Everyone loved someone through the many years that came Love always filled the air The fire that could not be tamed There were two of us at least I thought so, but where were you? You never once considered seeing my love through. You had my heart and held it there You didn't even know what I'd do for my love to show You loved someone else, I was never a part of you, So many times I've tried, The results are nothing new. How could any person, live with the pain, with the pain of loving, when you know your love's in vain?
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13 years ago
Anonymous
A few grammatical errors such as in the first line of the 3rd stanze, it should be there WERE two of us, and the very last line should contain YOUR rather than YOU'RE. other than that its pretty good. Some things could use a little clearing up, I know poetry is often abstract and open to interpretation, but you could always make it slightly more clear if you're trying to convey a love poem.
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13 years ago
2cute
It is nice and i got the point... It seems to be a little all over the place but over it is good.. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd probably rate it a 7.5
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13 years ago
xavier.schott
It would be better as a sonnet. It's hard to judge on a scale of 1 to 10 tbh.
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