13 years ago
.KNL.

Friend driving me CRAZY?

I have a friend who has been my friend for at least 13 or so years now. She has always been a very sweet, loving, and just all around great girl. The problems started our senior year in high school, when she discovered tight clothes and began forsaking the personality everyone loved about her for an annoying, attention basking, loud, and mean spirited polar opposite. I remained her friend, because I really cared about her. However, now, almost four years later, I'm beyond completely aggravated and annoyed with her. She wears extremely tight and revealing clothing, then literally screams in public when a guy so much as looks at her, in an over obvious attempt to gain even more guys attention. She suddenly gained this self righteous overly feminist POV that she will not hesitate to talk about loudly in public in hopes of starting an argument with a complete stranger. She started drinking heavily and smoking pot, advertising it everywhere she goes, but gets mad when a guy breaks up with her because she refuses to have premarital sex, though she dresses in skirts that don't even fully cover her rear, and shirts with necklines that literally go to her navel. Not to mention that she makes out with any guy who shows interest. She does everything in her power to call attention to herself at all times, and in all the most annoying, wrong ways. And it's horrible watching her flirt shamelessly with a guy who anyone else can see is not showing interest, but is too polite to tell her she is barking up the wrong tree. I really care about her a lot, and so does my fiance. She has been there for me through a lot, and I want to continue to be there for her. But in all honesty, I cannot take much more of this. Especially when she complains so much about the "unwanted" attention she acts so oblivious as to the reason she receives. And, lately, I've noticed that she has started subtly trying to demean me. I wasn't born yesterday. I know she's just doing it to try to make herself feel good, but it was really the last straw. I have no idea what to do at this point. She's my maid of honor in my wedding in less than two weeks, and I'm praying with everything in me she doesn't try to show out or hook up with some random guy there. But, also, I'm just fed up in general with her. What should I do??
Top 2 Answers
13 years ago
Erin
Favorite Answer
Honestly, she's probably not going to change much in the next two weeks although for your sake I believe she would at least act semi normal and refrain from embarrassing you. Maybe, if you are planning to video tape your wedding, if she does her usual attention seeking tactics and whatnot, she could witness it for herself and it could serve as an eyeopener for her. Its natural for people to change, but the ones your describing of a lifelong friend are extreme and therefore obviously very disappointing to the people who had loved her sincere personality. I think its great that you still strive to preserve your friendship. Maybe the best thing you could do is help her to see the person she has turned into. When she meets you for lunch in the most cleavage bearing top she owns, act like you thought it was an accident and politely comment that her cami's slipping down and hint that she should cover up a bit. When she's acting ridiculous in public, acknowledge that she's receiving attention but not the kind she wants. A simple, hun people are giving you extremely weird looks, should do. If all else fails and after attempts to gradually make her realize her changes, I really think you should sit her down and talk to her. Tell her how difference she's become without being rude or putting her new personality down. If she's a true friend she'll appreciate your kind and honesty and hopeful make alterations to improvements.
1
13 years ago
♫ Pearl Jam ♫
Just talk to her and tell her that her behaviour is starting to annoy you. She is your best bud and you love her (as a friend) but you cant stand going on like this. If she is a good friend she'll understand.. Stell her that wearing what she wears she is obviously going to get the wrong kinda attention and it can get her into real serious trouble. And I think she is old enough to understand rape and related traumas. Tell her that she can wear not-so-revealing clothes and yet manage to find guys who'll like her for what she is and not how much cleavage she can show
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